This blog post is boring

Boring is defined as "so lacking in interest as to cause mental weariness."

Well, hopefully this post is not really boring, but I wanted to make a point. I have a theory that most of the estate planning information being said or written by attorneys out there is BORING.

And by boring, I don't mean it is wrong or not important. But I do mean that it doesn't talk about the things that matter to you. Why is that? I think it's because many attorneys have forgotten what their job is and what your job is. If it were the attorney's job just to write down what you tell them (basically a scrivener), then you would need to understand all the technical aspects of tax law, probate, asset protection, etc.

The IRS Code - is that why you plan your estate, to learn tax law? When you go to a doctor because you are sick, do you want an anatomy lesson or a discussion of the latest medical journals? No, you just want to get well.

I have found that estate planning works best when I have a job to do and my clients have a job to do. What is the client's job? To tell me about their family, their dreams, concerns, fears, how they want to live their life and how they want to be remembered. It's my job to guide them through some options to clarify their goals. Once we decide the goals, it is my job to use legal and tax strategies to accomplish those goals.

Am I Your Type?

There are 4 types of estate planning:

Do nothing. Let others sort it out later.

Do it yourself. Get a form and fill in the blanks. How hard can it be?

Use a document-driven attorney. Pay lots of money for a fancier form that someone else fills out for you.

Use a counseling-oriented attorney. Build a lifelong relationship with someone you can trust... someone who also knows your other family members, understands your family values and collaborates with your other advisors (tax, financial, banking, insurance). Work with this person over time to create a personalized plan that is always up to date. Experience peace of mind knowing you've done everything within your power to protect your loved ones and the things for which you've worked so hard.

So, am I your type?

That's a good question

I got some great comments and questions about my last post, where I discussed protecting assets for our loved ones. And I thought many of you may be interested in hearing the answer to the most common question.

The question: Do these kinds of issues (risks to an inheritance) only apply to older, wealthier parents with grown kids, or should they be considered by parents with new babies, toddlers, grade school age children?

My opinion - they should be considered by ALL parents. Suppose a newly married couple has that first baby, is still paying off student loans, has a mortgage, getting started in a career - what do they have to leave that baby if something happens to them? Well, hopefully they will have a nice size life insurance policy to help raise the child and provide an education, get her or him started in life. So I guess I would break it down to 2 questions:

1. Have you provided enough funds to raise your children if a tragedy happened? (through life insurance, if necessary). If not, call your financial advisor or insurance agent ASAP to get more life insurance coverage. (when parents are young and healthy, even a $1 million policy or much more is very affordable for most parents)

2. Now, thinking of the funds being left through the life insurance , do you want that money exposed to all the risks I talked about in the newsletter? Regardless of whether the funds come from life insurance or other assets, the risks are the same.

So, everyone, new parents and older parents alike, please consider those risks in making your estate plan, so your family is protected. Thanks to those who asked a very good question!

Protecting Your Family Like an NFL Lineman

The other day I had a chance to speak at the Rotary Club. My topic, like the article "How (and Why) Athletes Go Broke" in the latest issue of Sports Illustrated, was about protecting the money you've worked so hard for. There are many ways your spouse, children or grandchildren could end up losing what was so important for you to leave behind. I know you can't imagine your loved ones blowing your hard earned money (or maybe you can), but sometimes it happens in the blink of an eye. What are some of the risks to an inheritance?

• Lawsuits The SI article is riddled with stories of lawsuits. Though it may not be something you think about, imagine your spouse, devastated by your recent death, running a red light and causing an accident involving a school bus. In an instant, all that you worked so hard for could be given away by the courts to the injured parties leaving nothing to care for your family in your absence.

• Divorce One NFL owner was once asked by one of his players what the most dangerous thing to happen to them financially could be. His answer: Divorce. Many players, who marry their hometown sweetheart, can never imagine a divorce in their future. Even if your son has married the sweetest girl in the world, there is no way to see what the future holds. Would you be OK giving half your hard earned money to her if they end up getting divorced a few years after you pass away? It happens regularly when people don't plan ahead.

• Remarriage If you die, and your spouse remarries, do you mind if part of the money you left is split with the new spouse, or even later left to the new spouse's kids? This could either be a gold-digger (or "bimbo" as some of my clients like to say) or a stand up, class-act new spouse. But either way, without planning, there is a risk those assets will end up where you did not intend. Your children could even lose access to the money they would need for college.

• Wild Spending Lots of quick money means a happy life, right? Well, that's not what the stats show. Quick money (winning the lottery, getting an inheritance, or multi-million dollar NFL contract) can lead to wild spending, divorce and bankruptcy. If your children end up with large assets at the young age of 20, they could quickly blow it like any upstart professional athlete. If someone isn't prepared to manage the money, the money will manage them. You've worked hard so your kids will be ok without you, but will they really be better off with a large sum of money that has no safeguards?

Nobody likes to think about these difficult issues, but with proper planning these assets can be protected and your loved ones will be protected - even if you can't be around to do it.

What are you proud of?

Do you ever feel pretty proud of yourself? Kind of interesting the stuff that we get proud of. Here are some of the things I have been proud of lately:

1. stopped drinking diet soda. Used to drink it all the time, for years, but my mom kept telling me it would give me cancer eventually. Finally I decided it can't be good for me, all that fake sugar. So I stopped. I forget when it was exactly. I think it was over a year ago. Since then, I can count on one hand the times I drank diet soda.

2. I ran a 5k. Actually finished it in 30 minutes. I think I may have come up with a new exercise program. Run a 5k every month and do nothing in between. I may do another 5k this Saturday, but I actually have run a little bit since the last 5k a month ago. But that last one was my first organized race ever. I liked it. Plus I got a free t-shirt.

3. I'm almost done with a Lyndon Johnson biography by Robert Dallek , part of my lifelong quest of reading a biography about every president. For some reason, this one has been tough sledding. But I only have about 100 pages to go. I'm proud of myself now, and will be even prouder when I'm done. Then I think I will next read the Nixon biography by Stephen Ambrose. (I'm a big Ambrose fan.)

Then I kept thinking about this stuff. Is this the stuff I want to be remembered for when I'm dead and gone? Strange how small things seem worth some pride even if it's not anything of real eternal significance. How do you want to be remembered? What do you want your friends and family to say about you? What kind of son, husband, father, brother, friend, boss, employee, or neighbor do you want to be known as?

Ok, gotta go. Need to knock out a few more pages of that LBJ biography before bed...