Aging - There's Only One Alternative

Getting older. We are all faced with it. As my dad has said, if you don't want to grow old, there is only one other option. (You know, die young...)

As I work with clients, I am constantly confronted with aging and death. How the circle of life comes around and all of us, eventually, will face declines in our health, mental ability, independence, etc. Depressing, isn't it? Well, it can be, I guess, but also involves not just death but how we live our lives now and the legacy we leave behind. And it makes us confront our ultimate spiritual reality and what we think happens after we leave this earth. (Don't worry, I'm not going to preach any sermons here...)

Since I started this blog, I have written about various individual topics as they come to my mind. But I think it makes sense to do a series of posts on this issue of aging and how to face it. Most of us have someone we love who is facing this issue (or will face it in the coming years).

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I am an avid newspaper reader. I often read most of the paper. I always make sure I look at 3 things: Dilbert, Dear Abby, and the box score from last night's Cardinal baseball game or Illini basketball game (depending on the season). Did you see today's Dear Abby? Here was the question:

Dear Abby: I am a single woman in my 60s who lives alone. One of my greatest fears is developing dementia. Because there is no one living with me, there would be on one around to notice changes in my behavior. I am still able to balance my checkbook, do my grocery shopping, drive myself to the dentist's office, etc. If I ever need assisted living, how would I recognize the fact so I could make other arrangements before requiring someone else to make them for me? --GROWING OLDER IN SAN DIEGO

Abby had an answer for her: ask your doctor to check you over during each annual physical exam. That's an OK answer, but I have better one.

Dynasty Program Membership

By planning with me and becoming a member of our Dynasty membership program, a person would have the best disability planning options available. We help clients name a "disability panel" that consists of both loved ones and at least one doctor, who will decide when the person needs help managing their affairs. Because our office has contact with each client at least once a year and most often several times a year, we are also able to watch for signs that a person needs assistance. In fact, we probably know our clients better than their doctors as to the daily living issues. We have spent hours and hours with them over the years.

Once assistance is needed, our clients have already set out instructions in legal documents that outline how they want to be cared for toward the end of life.

Powers of Attorney?

Some of you reading this have probably signed documents granting powers of attorney. You may be thinking "isn't that enough to plan for disability?" Well, those are important documents, but pull them out and see what instructions are included in there. There are a lot of powers given in those documents, but very few instructions. Where in the power of attorney does it talk about whether you have a preference to be cared for at home rather than a nursing home? Do you have an opinion about that issue? If so, does it make sense to have it written down somewhere in your estate plan?

Like a Library Burning Down - preserving your memories

Libraries hold books so others can read them and learn from them.

Our minds hold stories and wisdom that can help others. As part of our legacy, we need to preserve our lives and our stories for those who come after us. If we don't do something to preserve the stories before we die, then it's like a library burning down. When we die without preserving our stories, those stories are lost forever.

I am a member of the Legacy Builder Network, and its founder Scott Farnsworth co-authored a book called:

Like a Library Burning Down: Saving and Preserving Lifetime of Stories

You should check out this book if you are interested in preserving your legacy, or helping loved ones preserve their legacy (such as your parents or grandparents.

Libraries - the real ones and the ones in our mind

I have been thinking about how specific places help us remember stories and times from our past. I'm talking about specific geographic places on the earth. Just by returning there, memories flood back, many more and in more detail than you would have without going to that place. The detail is much more vivid. Something about the sights, sounds, even the smells. Do you remember how your grandparent's house smelled? What about the school or church you went to as a kid? Maybe you don't remember what it smells like now, but if you smelled it again, would you recognize it?

Today I had one of those experiences. And it wasn't even a place I had ever been as a kid. But it was a place that was similar to places I went years ago. This morning Bailey and I went to the library. The west branch of the Lincoln Library on Washington Street in Springfield, Illinois. Just being there bought back memories of going to the library as a kid in Taylorville, Illinois.

The Taylorville library was an old building, built with money from Carnegie (according to Wikipedia, $14,000 grant in 1903). The Taylorville library has a much newer building now, but I found nothing on their web site about the library's history.


Some of my thoughts and memories:

1. When I was in grade school in Taylorville, Illinois, I went to Memorial School. The school was a few blocks from the old city library, just off the Taylorville square. I used to walk to the library sometimes after school. The basement was the children's area. The children's librarian was a baseball fan (of the Royals if I remember right) and sometimes she would have the radio on to a Cardinals or Cubs game if it was a late game still going after school.

2. I remember being in a reading contest one summer where you got various stickers or something that were all related to knights and serfs.

3. I remember the library card that was just a little retangular card with a paper sleeve to keep it in. No bar codes or fancy plastic cards, just a handwritten name and library number on a pre-printed card.

4. Today some of the books I looked at still had those little pouches in front of the books for the due date card (which of course they don't use anymore).

5. I remember the library being such a peaceful place (both now and when I was a kid). Where things are quiet (or supposed to be - Bailey was talking another kid's ear off today in the kids' section!). Where people are not in a rush, but they are browsing around looking for the right book. No rushing in and rushing out like we do in most of our lives. And no self service here. Even now with the bar codes, you have to go to the librarian who scans them in and reminds you when they're due.

6. Over the years, I have gotten in the habit of buying books instead of going to the library. Some books I like to write in and highlight. Other books I just want to have around. I like books. But I was reminded today that I also like libraries.

7. What's to become of libraries? In Springfield, the city budget is in shambles (a lot like our state budget and our stimulus packaged federal budget). And one of the places to cut is the library budget. Unfortunately, I am one of the reasons the city budget is in such dire straights. Today when I went to check out books, I found out that my library card had an overdue fine of 60 cents owing since 1999. I paid it (after I dug some change out of my car, didn't have any other cash on me!)

Michelle has been taking Bailey to the library regularly, both in Springfield and Chatham. I like that. I want her to grow up with great memories of libraries and all the books and things to learn and the peace and quiet there.

What are your memories of going to the library?

my theory about lawyer jokes

You want to hear my theory about lawyer jokes? I figure most of them are based in truth. The jokes are so popular and cause us to laugh so much because there is at least a nugget of truth in there. Well, I mean a nugget of truth regarding the legal industry. That, as an industry, lawyers have often been too greedy, arrogant, mean, unapproachable, unlikeable, and expensive.

I hope that the way I practice law is so different that no one would recognize how I work as being anything like those jokes. In fact, I want to be the lawyer who doesn't look, sound, smell, or listen like a lawyer. Do you think I'm succeeding?

Lawyer Jokes - #3 - the one with a pig in it

yet another lawyer joke...

A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer gladly accommodates them, but tells them that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn. The Hindu says, "I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn." So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu. He says "There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow." So, the Rabbi says, "I'm humble; I'll sleep in the barn." A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig, and there is a pig in the barn. So, the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow...

Lawyer Jokes - #2 - engineer and lawyer

Another lawyer joke. From those who shared after I asked people to share jokes in one of my email newsletters:

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"

Lawyer Joke Quiz - name that punchline

In a recent newsletter, I asked people to share lawyer jokes with me. And I also did a lawyer joke quiz, putting out a punchline and asking if people could identify the joke that goes with it.

Can you identify these jokes by their punchline?

"It's OK, I got him with the door."

"A good start!"

"They don't get as attached to the rats. Plus, there are some things a rat won't do."

OK here is the answer key - the jokes that go with the punchlines. Keep in mind - these are my own paraphrases of these jokes.


Got him with the door

There was a truck driver whose route took him every day right by the courthouse. Since he had no love for lawyers, he would always try to hit one or two of them who were walking along the rode as he drove by. Well, one day he was driving along and saw someone hitchhiking. He looked a little closer and it was a priest. He figured he better not drive past without stopping, so he picked up the priest. As they were getting closer to the courthouse, he thought "I better not hit any lawyers with the priest right here". But as he came up to the courthouse, he saw a great target walking right along the road and it was too tempting to pass up. So he begin to veer toward the lawyer with his truck. But at the last minute, he remembered the priest was there, so he swerved suddenly to miss the lawyer. But he still heard a thump and looked in the rearview mirror to see the lawyer rolling on the road. He turned to the priest and said, "Father, I'm sure I missed that lawyer back there." The priest said "That's OK, my son, I got him with the door."


A good start

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.


The one about the rats

Did you hear that scientists are now using lab rats instead of lawyers for their science experiments? Yeah, the scientists don't get as attached to the lawyers. Plus, there are some things a rat just won't do.

Lawyer Jokes - #1 - lawyer's deal with the devil

A week or so ago, I did an email newsletter asking people to share lawyer jokes with me. So here I go sharing some of them.

A Lawyer’s Deal With The Devil

An aspiring young lawyer was sitting her office late one night, when Satan
appeared before her.

The Devil told the lawyer “I have a proposition for you…”

“You can win every case you try for the rest of your life. Your clients
will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make
embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your husband’s soul, your
children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and the souls of all
your friends and law partners.”

The lawyer ponders this for a moment, then finally asks: “So, what’s the
catch?”

Please, not another blog about Michael Jackson

There are 2 kinds of people in the world. Some can't get enough of the Michael Jackson saga. Others are complaining about how all the real news in the world is being drowned out by old Michael videos and talking heads analyzing his dysfunctional family. If you're in the 2nd group, my apologies. But below is more about Michael and his estate planning.

Also, if you want another interesting take on Michael's estate plan, check out the blog post of my colleague Victor Medina - "Michael Jackson's Estate Plan - What He Did Right!"

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MICHAEL JACKSON: Part Two

1. Don't you want to avoid confusion? With Michael, there was a time period where it wasn't clear whether he had a Will or not. In fact, his mom went to court and told the judge there was not a Will and asked that she be given power as the administrator. Now things change once the Will is presented to the court. Good planning will avoid this limbo period where people are wondering if there is a Will and where it is. Good planning will make sure that the right people know how to quickly get their hands on legal documents that you have prepared.

2. Who is a good choice as guardian of your kids? Michael's mom is 79 years old. His youngest child is 7. If I have my math right, she will be 90 years old when he gets out of high school. Is she the best option as guardian? Under Illinois law, do you know who is qualified to raise your kids? Anyone over 18 who is not a felon but is U.S. citizen. So from that pool or people, the judge has to pick someone who is in the best interest of the child. In Illinois, the court will lean strongly toward following the parent's wishes in naming a guardian, but is not absolutely required to name the guardian you list in your Will. If you properly name a guardian in writing, then your choice has "prima facie" validity. This means that the court presumes that your guardian choice is best, but the court may approve someone else if evidence shows that is better.

3. What about the other parent? The mother of 2 of Michael's kids, Debbie Rowe, is to have nothing to do with them, according to his family at a press conference. She was not named as a guardian. I am assuming that she gave up all her parental rights because (in Illinois) the other surviving parent will continue to be the child's guardian, regardless of what the Will said, unless their parental rights had already been terminated.

4. No planning = 18 year old with money. I assume that Michael's trust provides for his children and gives instructions about how their money will be managed and when and how they can spend it or take control over it. But, if he had no plan or they couldn't find the documents, then the law (at least in Illinois), is that kids get their money at age 18. Would your 18 year old high school senior be ready to receive your wealth (home, retirement plan, life insurance, etc.)?

5. Don't be distracted by the big numbers. Don't get caught in the trap that only rich people like Michael need to do estate planning. We should just call it "planning" and get rid of the term estate. Every person, regardless of their wealth or family situation, should do some kind of planning for when they are disabled or pass away. Good planning to make things easier, better, cheaper, smoother, quicker - for you now and your family later. Even doing nothing is a plan in itself.

6. End up like Elvis? Part 1. Michael was afraid he would end up dying young like Elvis. Hopefully Michael's estate won't end up like Elvis. When Elvis died, his estate was worth about $10 million, but by the time expenses, taxes, lawyers, and probate fees were all paid, there was less than $3 million left.

7. End up like Elvis? Part 2. Despite Elvis' lack of planning for his death, his family has done very well with the family business. A few years ago, the family sold most of their Elvis rights for $100 million. From being worth $3 million to over $100 million in 30 years. Not bad. I say do both - set up good planning that handles your estate properly now, but also sets up your family for greater success later. Elvis's family overcame bad initial planning to successfully grow the family wealth. Don't make your family have to overcome that obstacle.

Wealth Transfer or Wealth Reception - Part #2 - The College Years

I went to U of I in Champaign-Urbana. Both undergrad and law school. A lot has changed since I left law school in 1995. Many new buildings, and tuition has gone way up. Do you know how much it will cost now for 4 years of undergrad, including tuition, books, room and board, etc.? Somewhere around $100,000.


Suppose your kid is ready to head to college this fall. He gets all his stuff packed, buys that little fridge, picks out a shower caddy thing, and is ready to head off to college. The day comes where you pack up the mini-van and head to Champaign. You help carry all the stuff into the dorm, give him a hug, tell him to behave himself. Then you pull out your checkbook and say "Well, since we know it's going to cost you about $100,000 to get through the next 4 years, I thought I would go ahead and give it to you now." So you write out that check, hand it over, get in the car and drive back home.


Assuming you had $100,000 sitting around that was earmarked for your child's college, would you do it this way? Would you hand the entire amount over on the first day he moves in to the dorm? No? You wouldn't do that? Why on earth not?


Well, I guess there could be a few "complications".

1. He might not spend it wisely. You know, parties or a new car or who knows what? Then runs out of money before he gets the degree.

2. He might be taken advantage of. If word got out that he had a big wad of money just handed to him, do you think he would have any new "friends" that might be interested in hanging out? I'm sure there would be plenty of kids willing to help him make some financial decisions.

3. He might be less motivated to work hard. Hey, you're only young once. Doesn't it make sense to have some fun with a little of that money now? He figures he can always get a job during his last year or two of college to make up the difference.

4. What if he gets in trouble? Maybe gets in a car wreck and gets sued? Or gets in with the wrong crowd and makes a bad decision that leads to property damage or criminal charges?

5. He isn't emotionally ready to handle that kind of money. You just handed him $100,000, even though he's never had more than $500 in discretionary money to himself before now.

6. What if his plans change? Maybe he flunks out, changes his major, takes a semester off, or drops out of school to start a band? Are you expecting to get change back on your $100,000 if he doesn't finish with a degree?

7. He might fall in love. Yes, love can do strange things to someone's financial decisions.



WEALTH RECEPTION?


Well, I guess you realize that people die all the time leaving assets to their kids. And those kids may not be any more ready to receive it than your college student was to receive that $100,000 right now.

Let's say something happens to you tomorrow and you left all your assets (house, retirement plans, life insurance, bank accounts, etc.) to your kids. Would the amount of money you leave them make an impact on their daily lives? How much impact? Very little, some, or a whole bunch? Would the lifestyle they could afford be changed?

Think of the specific amount of money you would leave if you died tomorrow. How much will it increase your child's net worth? Double it, triple it, make it go up 10 times or a 100 times? or more?

All those issues that cause concern about the college student are the same issues we address with clients in estate planning. These issues are what I call "wealth reception" issues. It's not just about how quickly we can get the check to the kids. More important is what impact, good or bad, will the money have on the kids after they get it. And will the wealth better their lives one year, 5 years, or 10 years after you're gone?



David Otis Edwards
wealth reception attorney
Edwards Group LLC
Springfield, Illinois

My new newsletter bio

Here is the new bio I started using with my email newsletter.

ABOUT ME

My name is David Otis Edwards and I founded Edwards Group LLC in December 2008 to serve the planning needs of individuals, families, businesses, and non-profit organizations through lifetime-focused strategies. My clients include young families with minor children, families with special needs children of all ages, farmers, business owners, established families with dynasty goals and the elderly. I also regularly represent churches and non-profit organizations in carrying out their missions. In matters of estate planning, I provide tailored plans that focus on passing on more than just financial wealth, but also spiritual, emotional and intellectual assets.

My goal is to become the trusted advisor and lifetime legal counsel for my clients. I keep ongoing contact with my clients through newsletters as well as through our client maintenance program, which helps clients keep their planning up to date, so it's ready when they need it.

I have a B.S. in Finance from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, as well as a J.D. from the University of Illinois College of Law. During law school, I served as an Associate Editor of the school's law review (academic law journal) and was honored as part of the Order of the Coif, an honor society for those in the top 5% of their law school class. In recent years, I have been honored by the Springfield Business Journal as one of the "40 under 40" for 2006 (40 top business leaders under age 40). During 2008 and 2009, I was named as a Rising Star by Super Lawyer Magazine, which is an award chosen by my peers and given to only the top 5% of attorneys in Illinois under the age of 40. I have represented clients before the Illinois Supreme Court, as well as every other federal and state appellate court in Illinois.

I am a member of the National Network of Estate Planning Attorneys, whose members are devoted to pursuing the highest quality estate planning practices (both as to client experience and as to legal expertise), even when that means bucking the legal industry by exposing weaknesses in traditional legal planning.

I believe in making a difference in my community. I serve on the board or other leadership capacity in various local organizations, including Habitat for Humanity of Sangamon County, Rutledge Youth Foundation, Brother James Court, Delta Church, and the Young Philanthropists of the Sangamon County Community Foundation. The community room in my office (which seats up to 20 people) is available to any community group needing a place to meet.

I have some of the most wonderful and interesting clients any attorney could wish for. I am honored to share life with my clients and their families.

I enjoy serving my clients, but my even greater joy comes from spending time with my wife Michelle and daughter, Bailey. Michelle is a nurse at Memorial Medical Center and is a certified teacher. She is also my personal historian and scrapbooker. Bailey is 2 1/2 years old, full of energy, and loves to make up songs, read books, play with her dolls, and go down the slide at the park.

Michael Jackson: King of Pop (and Estate Planning?)

Are you tired yet of hearing about the Michael Jackson saga? One thing for sure, the gossip media should have plenty to talk about for quite a while. It turns out Michael did have a Last Will & Testament after all. (Thanks to those who sent me links to good articles on his estate issues.) Despite the circus atmosphere, Michael's estate situation gives us some reminders about important planning issues:

1. Wills are public. Usually, there are many issues that are much more important to your family than keeping your estate matters secret. But at the same time, do you really want people to see your private info? And with increasing online access to court records, it will be easier and easier for your neighbor or nosy relative to look at your Will in court records without leaving home.

2. Living Trusts are private. A living trust is a good way to keep your info private at your death. And that's exactly what Michael did. Look at his Will. It is what we call a "pour over will", meaning his will doesn't have much in it except instructions to dump assets at his death into what they are calling his "Family Trust" (which is private and will stay private). So all the gory details about who gets what and when they get it are only in that private document, incorporated by reference into his Will. And it seems to me that Michael's Will actually included more info than necessary. For instance, I usually would not put something in the Will about disinheriting anyone (as he did with is ex-wife). That kind of info can go in your trust to keep it all private.

3. Asset titling is key. We haven't seen how this part plays out yet. Even though Michael had a living trust, if he didn't properly title his assets in that trust before his death, then the probate court will have to do it using his will. Without assets organized properly, he will lose part of the benefits of the living trust.

4. Feeding frenzy? Michael's death is a media frenzy, but also a money frenzy too. Friends, relatives, business associates, will all be scrambling to take financial advantage. Those who are controlling his assets will be approached by all kinds of people with all kinds of ideas and schemes, all designed to get some money from the estate. Marlon Brando's estate attorney said people came "out of the woodwork making all sorts of claims" after Brando died. At your death, who will be in charge of your estate and who will be at risk for being taken advantage of?

5. Personal items are important. There is a court dispute over 2,000 personal items. Michael's mom has control of them, but the real executors want them back. The judge told them to try to work it out. I have seen a lot of hurt feelings and disputes over personal items, sometimes of small dollar value. But sometimes the items of small dollar value have huge sentimental and emotional value. What have you done to make sure your personal items don't cause a dispute later? What have you done to preserve the stories behind items of emotional value?

6. We never know when. We look at Michael and figure he was living a life on the edge that could lead to an early death. But the fact is that none of us know when our time is up. One thing about estate planning - you need to do it when you don't need it, because when you need it, it's too late to do it.

I have more comments to make about MJ's estate, but I will wait until next time. And I would love to hear your comments on my comments or on Michael's situation.

David Otis Edwards, Springfield, Illinois